Making a personal connection isn’t about being “salesy”; it’s about moving from a transactional mindset to a relational one. Customers today can get products anywhere—they stay for the person behind the product.
Here is how to build that rapport authentically:
1. The Art of “Active Listening.”
Most people listen just to wait for their turn to speak. To connect, you have to listen to understand.
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Mirroring: Subtly repeat the last few words of their sentence. If they say, “I’m just stressed about the deadline,” you say, “The deadline has you stressed?” This signals you are truly present.
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The 80/20 Rule: Let the customer speak 80% of the time. The more they share, the more invested they feel in the conversation.
2. Remember the “Small Big Things.”
People feel valued when you remember details that have nothing to do with their wallet.
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The F.O.R.D. Method: If the conversation lulls, ask about Family, Occupation, Recreation, or Dreams.
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CRM Notes: If a customer mentions their dog is sick or they’re going to a concert, jot it down in your notes. Mentioning it two weeks later (“How is your Golden Retriever feeling?”) creates an instant bond.
3. Radical Transparency & Vulnerability
Authenticity beats polished perfection every time.
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Own the Mistakes: If a shipment is late, don’t give a corporate excuse. Say, “I dropped the ball on this, and I’m going to make it right.”
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Be a Human, Not a Script: Ditch the formal jargon. Use their name, share a brief (relevant) personal anecdote, and speak like you’re talking to a friend over coffee.
4. Surprise and Delight (The “Lagniappe”)
In old New Orleans, a lagniappe was a small gift given to a customer for free.
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Unsolicited Value: Send them an article or a resource that helps them solve a problem, even if it has nothing to do with what you sell.
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The Handwritten Note: In a digital world, a physical thank-you note is a superpower. It shows you invested the one thing you can’t buy back: time.
Transactional vs. Relational Language
| Instead of saying… | Try saying… | Why it works |
| “Your order is confirmed.” | “I’m so excited to get this out to you!” | Shows shared enthusiasm. |
| “Let me check our policy.” | “Let me see how I can fix this for you.” | Positions you as an ally. |
| “How can I help you?” | “What’s been the biggest challenge with [Topic]?” | Opens a deeper dialogue. |
Peer Perspective: Don’t feel like you have to be an extrovert to do this. Often, the best “connectors” are the quiet ones who simply pay the most attention.